THE EVER-PRESENT THIEF.

it lurks, attacks, and then lingers like the oh-so-dreaded coffee breath i get at least twice a day. comparison. commonly thought about, yet detrimental to my soul. i ride my bike, walk the pup, tackle precalculus homework and eat meals, all the while comparison of myself to others leaks into my mind. i tap into my brain and dwell on my beautiful sisters - all that they are and do with their lives to serve our God in the beauty they possess so easily; and my godly friends, representing Christ in each aspect of life, bearing influential abilities in my own life; and even those i pass on the sidewalks with the body i long for, the money i wish i had, etc. etc., and the list goes on. "why can't i be like these people?" racks my brain. as many times as i catch myself tearing my own person apart - ridding God of the praise and adoration he so generously deserves for knitting Perrin exactly as he wanted in the womb - it continues. day after day. this act, this subtle sin is cultivating in my heart. it acts as a disease that spreads and spreads, quickly conquering any good in sight. my brain is tired. tired of this game of chase that leads me no where. tired of knowing that these thoughts are not from my God, but rather the Devil himself. i kneel in prayer, pouring my heart out to my Refuge (Psalm 62:8) because i believe he is just that. i go to the Book that holds Truth and conviction and comfort and hope, and find my Savior there, arms wide open, enabling my feet to tread on high places (Psalm 18:33). i am commanded to submit to God my Father; to "resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). so, i hold onto this command and trust that the God, who knitted me together in the womb, loves me even when i love the world more than Him. i will fall on my knees and cry out to my Father when the weight of others' loveliness is compared to my flaws. so by the power of the Holy Spirit, i must strive to keep comparison from robbing me of perfect Joy.