it's always a back-and-forth type deal in my mind, like two children bickering, but it's just me in that chaotic brain. each day holds the point where i wish i could flip a switch and turn my mind off. wouldn't that be lovely sometimes? to stop the analytic thoughts that do more harm than good...ok i'll quit teasing myself, because that's not a possibility. instead, i have to fold my hands and close my eyes, and talk to the One above all the earth; or, the One above everything that is merely a blade of grass.
because, the things of this world are stuck on the track "wither and fade."
i fold yet another load of laundry; i work hours that seem monotonous; this town becomes less and less thrilling; the desire for someone to love me slowly idolizes.
and still, there is joy in the right now because i am adopted by the God who holds the u n i v e r s e in his hands. there is not room for complaints or discontentment.
No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11
this is why i love Scripture, because it pierces every sin in the bulls-eye and knocks idols off of too-high-for-comfort pedestals.
thanksgiving is my heart's theme lately. i thank my Father for revealing to me that right here, in this town, with these people, working this job - it's where He wants me.
everyday is done with this new perspective of knowing that what i have in front of me and in my life is what is good for today. what right do i have to question God's will for my life? why do i compare my life to so-and-so's? i am queen of rhetorical questions.
the Lord is my portion. the Lord is my portion...my soul cries.
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